Scary Close
Everyone, at some point, feels insecure. For some, it happens when they’re younger and they outgrow it. For others, it creeps in later on in life when they have more responsibilities and greater expectations held against them. We all go through our phases of insecurity and it’s a constant journey to overcome. While I don’t think it’s something that will ever go away because we’re all human, I believe that we have the power to control our doubts once we notice them creeping in. In Scary Close, Donald Miller explores why it’s important for us to feel self-assured in order for us to create true connections.
IDENTITY
One of the reasons I’d been so isolated was because I’d subconsciously believed I wasn’t all that good for people... If our identity gets broken, it affects our ability to connect… I know we’re not perfect, but I wonder how many people are withholding the love they could provide because they secretly believe they have fatal flaws
The more success we achieve, the higher the rope. As we gain something, we have more to lose. Success causes a ravine beneath our careers that grows more deadly, creating a kind of fear of trying. He said that fear of letting people down is one of the primary reasons people procrastinate
What Donald mentions here, is a trap I think many of us fall into. On social media, we see people celebrating their promotions, travels, etc. and it causes us to think about our shortcomings. When this happens, we create an environment where only wins are celebrated and we don’t acknowledge the failures that it took to get there. When we begin to question our abilities, we’re afraid to share our ideas and experiences with others. It holds us back from following through with our passions and being vulnerable with others. When we do this, we aren’t expressing our full selves and it makes it harder to create deeper connections with people. While scary, it’s important to be authentic and it will encourage those around us to do the same.
IT’S A JOURNEY
The whole experience makes me wonder if the time we spend trying to become somebody people will love isn’t wasted because the most powerful, most attractive person we can be is who we already are, an ever-changing being that is becoming and will never arrive, but has opinions about what is seen along the journey
I don’t believe we are accidents in the world, and i don’t believe we were supposed to be actors either. I think we were supposed to be ourselves and we were meant as a miracle —be encouraged. Your heart is writing a poem on the world and it’s being turned into a thousand songs
I love both these quotes because it’s a reminder that we’re all human. There are so many ups and downs that come with life, but each moment is a chapter in our storybook. We need to embody our flaws, learn from our mistakes, and celebrate our proudest moments. At the end of the day, life is what we make of it, so why not live it being your truest self.
xo Kerstin